We’re All Just Human…

While on my morning stroll yesterday I reflected on a conversation with a family member I had about being in the SW industry. When you speak of your work with someone who doesn’t know this world, hasn’t experienced it, there’s an assumption placed upon the people who partake in it. Seedy, dark, all negative, intending to take take take /consume, mutual objectification, non-feeling, out of control of one’s desires…an animal of sorts. Not “civilized” (a term I have an issue with but that’s a topic for another time). To the outsider, the SW world is full of bad actors all around, with nothing good that can come from it.

The truth is this: the SW industry is just like any other thing in existence— the perception of good or bad one can derive from it depends on the present state and character of the people involved. I think most SW’s and clients can agree on this point. The only difference between us and civilians outside of this world is that we have the curiosity, courage, and calling to investigate. To entertain these impulses to connect, to express sensuality, and be an embodied human. Perhaps not all approach it with that level of awareness, but within the seed of that impulse to partake is, I’d argue, almost always the drive to connect to our deeper humanity to its root and explore parts of ourselves forgotten or repressed. To me, that is a worthwhile endeavor, if not the reason for our very existence. Because with that exploration is growth and more understanding of ourselves and relationships.

I remember when I first arrived into the exotic dancing world and came to this realization: we’re all just people. Normal, everyday, breathing, feeling, needing people. We’re not all that different from each other, really. A complete disillusionment at the time. I had always imagined these almost cartoonish types in the strip club: like they were unworldly entities who were nothing but grotesquely evil people with nothing but ill intentions. Now, I’d be remiss to say there are no bad actors here. Of course there are. Perhaps more than other areas of life simply because of our collective shame around sexuality, the stigmatization placed on SW’s, and the lack of legal protection for everyone involved.

So, what I want to offer is a pep talk for us, providers and patrons, in this world of SW. To remember that we’re human and deserving of good things in our lives, just like the rest of “civilized” society. The reality is that we’re all on an equal playing field here. All human. All born the same and die the same. This is the great equalizer to remember when relating with each other.

Be a stand-up person, do the right thing, treat each other like human beings with dignity and respect for each of our very personal life experience(s). Empathy, consideration, and curiosity are sexy AF. This sort of wide-open approach to relating to others goes a long way I’ve found.

Until next time, take good care and hope to connect soon ❤️

Nadia

Xx!